I can always express better in words even when I’m choked with emotions but the eleven days spent in Cambodia was amazing. I remember how I had never wanted to go back for a Ubin camp after the pre camp we had there. Who would have thought it will help me adapt so fast to the environment in Cambodia? Honestly, even though I might seem all whiny and crappy I can mentally exercise myself to adapt to situations so I think by the 3rd day nothing seemed out of ordinary when I was lying down on that short wooden bed with my 2 room mates. One of the best parts of the trip definitely has to be the long bus rides we have every single day to and fro. You know how Singapore finds every plot of land to build something but in Cambodia half the time all you see is greenery which is so breath-taking. The long bus ride never fails to make me reflect on everything, from what I’ve become to the things around me. While kids here struggle to be the top students in class, striving to a get a seat in local universities, settle down for a good job in the tertiary employment sector, the kids there are educated on the skills of probably pottery, cultivating crops, becoming a farmer or a fisherman.You see how it is not as developed as Singapore yet you don’t sympathise with them because its their lifestyle. It is surprising how the country lacks of development, how poor the people are yet they have got so much values. Small gestures like taking in the clothes that we put out for drying when it started pouring, waking up at 5am and arranging our shoes before going to prepare breakfast for us or even thanking us profusely over a small matter goes a long way. These gestures are very minor and mind you, they are not obliged to do any of those yet they did. The people there get simple joy from the simplest things and here people are weighing down their wants when they’ve got their needs. This is just probably one-quarter of my experience but enough said. Stolen pictures from a friend because these few pictures speaks a thousand words to me.

I’ve made a pact with myself, to never feel the way I had(referring to my previous posts) ever again. Even if I ever did, I feel like I shouldn’t be telling anyone about this. If I ever want to make myself feel better by confiding, I think that I should be confiding in my diary only. Deep down I’m aware that no one really cares because they’ve got their issues. I’m done putting myself down every other time. If this is how I’m created so be it. I can’t help it if ppl are going to judge me. With that being said, I would like to quote from my friend’s blog. It sums up how I really feel:

it doesn’t make sense to go around exposing yourself as a desperate and weak hearted attention seeking person. It’s my responsibility to put up with and fix my own troubles and not to let my misgivings and shortcomings be that of others to bear. Why? Because every single person on this fucking planet has their own faults, their own misgivings, their own regrets, their own troubles, and their own feelings to deal with which is already so much to cope with on their own. Me going to them and spilling everything out about my own troubles isn’t gonna better their own outlook on their own personal lives.

All of you think you know me well. You don’t. If you did you’d already know the reason why you see me in school everyday smiling and walking around like nothing’s wrong, being completely alright. You’d see the real me underneath all that surface bullshit.

1. Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy are superb. Each one, alone, would have made the movie terrific, but together? Forgetaboutit! Every step of the way, every scene, every emotion, these two men own the movie and watching their bromance is a treat from start to finish. Make no mistake about it, even when the world is on the brink of utter destruction what really matters is how these two men relate to one another. And when you watch the movie, you will care.

2. Everyone in the cast is good. Kevin Bacon has never been better, and Jennifer Lawrence is wonderful. Rose Byrne and January Jones aren’t given much to do, Ray Wise and Michael Ironside only have a few short lines, but – across the board – the entire cast are a delight.

3. The story is tight. You’ve got a bad guy with a plan, which he sets about executing in A/B/C fashion. Against him, the good guys work together. Their motivations are different, of course, but they pretty much want him stopped so they unite. That’s it.

4. Charles and Erik are fascinating characters. They debate. And viewers can debate endless about them, and about who is right, etc. As you watch you desperately wish they could stay friends, but you understand why they ultimately can’t. Even if they themselves, in these early days, don’t understand it yet. To have that so perfectly captured in a Summer Blockbuster movie is part of what makes this a treat and a future classic. But, aside from their relationship to each other, the movie takes time to make each of them interesting in his own right. We get to see Charles as a teacher, for instance, and come to understand how he impacts upon the lives of those he tutors. Some of Erik’s best moments (away from Charles) are in his comments to Mystique about her appearance, making it clear that this man has more to him than the shadow of his past.

4. Most supporting characters have very little screen time. But that’s okay, since this isn’t THEIR story, really. Of the bunch, it is Mystique and Beast who are best served. Both have terrific character arcs that – in a lesser X-Men movie – might have been the highlight of the film. Here, their stories serve as quality background material to the main event (Charles and Erik). Beyond that, we just learn enough about everyone to know what they can do and like them a little bit, mostly through their banter and most obvious character traits. Once scene where most of the supporting characters are clearly terrified will certainly go a long way towards making you care about them for the rest of the movie. On the downside: Shaw’s two henchmen don’t get ANYTHING to do except use their powers, and at the end of the story we know as much about Emma Frost as we did at the beginning. But these are the exception, not the rule.

5. Visually, this movie is a treat. The FX are good, no surprise, but – much better – the actual sets/costumes are beautiful. Whether it’s a remote CIA lab or a lap-dance club, whether it’s the Magneto helmet or Mystique’s everyday clothes, you are always admiring ‘the look’ of what’s on screen.

6. There are action scenes all during the movie, but – having said that – the movie builds as it goes. The first half is more story-heavy/character-heavy so that when the action REALLY starts we care about everyone. And, again, it works. Even with the scant details given their characters, when Banshee and Havok (for example) go into battle you are invested in them to a certain degree.

7. There are surprises. Deaths, betrayals, cameos and name-dropping. But, as well as being cool, all of this makes perfect sense for the story/universe of the movies.

Superb! Rock-solid script, two amazing lead performances (the film is basically a bromance). Haven’t been this excited about the X-Men franchise since X2: X-Men United.

I wouldn’t deny the fact that I wasn’t an ardent fan of X-men until recently. I fell in love with how a story which is so unrealistic can be put forth as something that is capable of conquering the world(or rather the mind). With the number of sequels of X-men, I still can’t decide which is the best. Whatever it is, I know I loved X-men First Class!

My favourite scenes would be the mutants training their powers, the friendship/chemistry/bond between Charles and Erik and the emotions revealed by Mystique and Hank. I couldn’t have done a better review than the one I’ve pasted above. The only part which I would have to disagree would be the costumes? The suits wasn’t really appealing, maybe perhaps they wanted to give the ancient look to it?

Went over to stay at Grampa’s on Friday. You know I’ve always loved the part where every family member pitches in to help out. The bond we could actually create through helping is amazing. Almost died out of exhaustion because I ended up scrubbing the walls, mopping etc. Stayed up through the night to have a talk with the sisters. To sum the engagement day up, I think it was a pretty tiring day since I was never really part of the behind-the-scene crew till now.

I’m so glad that my sister finally got someone who could provide her with everything. On the other hand, I feel useless. Despise the fact that relatives do tend to talk about our biological identity which wouldn’t  even make things any better or worse. I wish I could have been there for her by her side as a friend share stories with her like how I do with my other sisters. She doesn’t seem happy with this engagement because she’s way too materialistic/superficial. Moreover, she isn’t of an age to listen to someone as young as me. This just builds up to the sympathy I have with my mum.

All of the above, everything adds up to the multitude of emotions running. I could write more but I’m afraid, afraid I will never able to get my emotions/thoughts together ever again.

I’m at this point in life where I feel like I’m ripped off my rights to have any kind of emotions. I just feel like I’m of no position to receive any kind of care, concern and love. Telling someone that I like them would just make them feel low about himself because most prolly he will be thinking he is only capable of attracting an ugly girl. Likewise, for my friends, I’m too much of an embarrassment to be your friend. Of course, this would be too much of an exaggeration for anyone who is reading this since people can say that there do have their own scars. How bad can it get for a 18 yr old? Fat? You could always lose weight. Not doing well academically? Grab a few friends and start a studying group. Love problems? Oh please, if it doesn’t work don’t bother. And then..there is me. I’ve said this umpteen times and I will say it again, I cry everytime I look at the mirror. I know there’s always a solution which in this case is laser treatment. According to me its wrong.

I’ve been leading 17 yrs of my life with a birthmark on my face which I truly accept because thats how God created me but I just can’t stand how it affect or even spark a thought in a person to create a comment on it. I don’t care whether you play a part in my life or not, if it is about me it affects me. At the end of the day, I’m the one dealing with my emotions/thoughts. I really don’t know how to handle this. I’m a wreck. Feel so suffocated, I don’t even want to try breathing. Yeap, this post is just me wallowing in self pity. Mmm, never have I wrote something this emotionally in my diary before.